The Universal Umbrella

Lately, I am finding myself inseparable from my large, red umbrella.

I started taking the umbrella with me wherever I go simply because of two lithe reason:
1. I don't trust the weather as it is, because it can always go from searing hot to sudden downpour whenever it pleases.
2. My small, foldable umbrella is broken beyond repair after mere 3 months of abuse.

All in all, aside from some snide comments I get from people for carrying such conspicuous apparatus in broad sunny daylight, the umbrella has proven itself to be most valuable. Some of the highlights include but not limited to:
1. A handy signal for whenever I want to cross the street. A simple wild swing from it, and any motorcycle that usually would have blasted through the red lights goes straight into a screeching halt. Couple that with an idyllic, innocent look, and you can't be beat.
2. A comedic device whenever rain pours. People, it's Friday, and with the clouds giving indication of unexpected sudden downpour, why do you have to pick the mosque furthest from your office and lament the fact that you don't have an umbrella and I do when the rain does pour?
3. Er... your guess is as good as mine.

Methink that the umbrella makes a good urban self-defence tool. If anyone can walk around lugging such cumbersome device (to some) without looking encumbered, then one has a very good (in a limited sense) preman deterrent. Who wants to do you harm and take the chance that you might not be able to use it to whack someone in the head when you obviously look like you can handle the umbrella well in your stride?

Ohkay, anarchistic sarcasm aside, some basic ideas on how to use the umbrella as a self-defence apparatus can be found in Fairbairn's Get Tough! manual.

Here's where you can get the manual.

Check out the "Attack with a Small Stick or Cane" section. Can't you just imagine replacing the stick/cane with an umbrella?

And Fairbairn did use an umbrella to replace the stick in his other manual, Self-Defence for Women, which I can't find the full manuscript.

Anyway, never consider this as your excuse to start carrying a large, red umbrella and acting tough and untouchable. That's a big no-no in self-defence.

Keep safe.